SUP-Ah?! Slowmo Review – 09 (OSCAR – Edition)

Champagne flowed, and so did the tears.  The applause was stirring, BUT not as much as some of the cheers.  While a few of the acceptance speeches were memorable most of the post match interviews were downright forgettable.  There were some surprises, BUT some winners were predictable and ultimately a number of people will look back on this past Oscar weekend’s events as being career defining.  My corresponding PUN-ting Ahead preview blogpost attempted to find any overlaps between Hollywood’s glamour event and the glamour sporting events of the day.  While it could be more entertaining to give you the dismal details of my Oscar PUNts, I would much rather stick to the fields I claim to know more about.  So let’s see where those PUNts eventually landed, with any chance they ended up in a Field Of Dreams.

SUP-Ah?! – PUNt

  Bradford City -v- Swansea City     (my Spoiler Alert PUNt was = that the winner of the Capital One Cup Lifetime Achievement Award is ……………………………….. SWANSEA TOWN A.F.C!!)

  • Everybody loves a happy ending.  And while the Bradford City faithful may not have enjoyed being on the end of an eventually lopsided 5-NIL SWANSEA WIN, BUT there is no doubting the lasting positive effects that a trip to Wembley, to challenge for a major trophy, will have on the The Bantams.  So it is toWales that we turn to witness the 1st major trophy parade of the season.  It took just over a 100 years for this “ungly duckling” to blossom into a beautiful Swan and the collective hope will be that it will not take another century for them to get back here.  Otherwise Nathan Dyer’s Raging Bull demands to take the penalty, that would have given him a personal Lifetime Wembley Final Hattrick Achievement Award, may become more justified.  Yet to be confirmed rumours have suggested that Swans manager Michael Laudrup is set t0 stay at The Liberty Stadium, for life!…. even if it is in the immortalised form of a bronze statue.

SHORT-FILM (aka SUP-Ah!? QUICK-PUNts)

  • Manchester City -v- Chelsea (EPL):- = my Spoiler Alert PUNt was = The winner of the Best Performance In a SUPPORTING Role, (by those who wish they were leading) is …………………………………… MANCHESTER CITEH!!!
  • Over exposure can have an adverse effect on performances.  Actors, and their agents, are always caught up in the tricky balancing act of deciding whether to strike while the iron is still HOT, or curb their natural enthusiasm by carefully selecting the movies they are seen in.  Nobody mention Ben Affleck’s Gigli moment(s)!  Similarly in footy, over exposure can result in questionable performances that are more (with all due respect) Nollywood than Hollywood!  Chelsea have already played 47 competitive matches this season and that could have been part of the reason why they succumbed to a 2-NIL DEFEAT TO CITEH who, comparatively, have only played 38 competitive matches!  Frank Lampard’s pivotal penalty miss was only his 5th one in the EPL out of 35 attempts and he, along with Gaffer Rafa, will be hoping it is his last miss otherwise a red carpet will soon be rolled out across The Bridge, for both of them to exit stage left!   
  • Paris Saint Germain -v- Olympique de Marseille (Ligue 1):- = my Spoiler Alert PUNt was = The award for Best Hair & Make-up goes to ………………. PARIS SAINT-GERMAN!!
  • Even though Marseille “dominated” the match with 59% possession that produced 17 shots (7 on target), they were still Zlataned by PSG whose resultant 2-NIL WIN was fashioned from a low budget 2 shots on target (11 shots overall).  No golden statue BUT David “Mr Golden Balls” Beckham did manage to squeeze in a 16 minute cameo which resulted in him “assisting an assist” in the build-up to Zlatan’s goal.  Great news for Beckham’s fans though, he is set to play a more leading role as he gets his 1st PSG start in the Round of 16 tie of the Coupe de France.  Seeing as it will again be against Marseille we will see whether the sequel to Sunday’s Le Classique will be better.  Not that sequels usually are.  I wonder if the Canal+ specially dedicated Beck-Cam will still be rolling?

SUP-Aaaargh!! – QUICK PUNt (aka The One We Should Have Avoided) 

  • F.C. Internazionale -v- A.C. Milan (Serie A):- = my Spoiler Alert PUNt was =  And the award for Best Foreign Language Drama goes to the victors of the Derby della Madonnina who are……………………………….. A.C. MILAN!!
  • In the end there was NO WINNER!  The result was I-ALL, BUT the real talking points of this match go beyond the result.  It matters NOT what language is used to project it, Foreign or Local, RACISM still has the same unpleasant effect!  The narrative continues in the PUNk(s) of The Week section, BUT allow me to say again….. THERE WAS NO WINNER in every sense of the phrase!

HEZV-Oh-M.G!! Moment!

  • The Southern Kings have had the most dramatic journey to Super Rugby.  Political interference seemed to have won over common sense when this South African franchise was given the chance to compete in the Southern hemisphere’s elite club rugby tournament.  For several other reasons not many people were expecting (or even rooting for) a 22-10 debut WIN for The SOUTHERN KINGS.  It is very rare for a team to have a winning start in this tournament.  The Western Force, who were on the wrong end of this shock result, took 12 matches to  stop their rookie losing streak only to register their 1st DRAW!  Time will tell whether this performance was a one-off and the team from the Eastern Cape were Kings for a day, BUT until then this will set things off positively for them, even if it was from The Blindside.

PUNisher(s) of the Week!!

  • Kyle Abbott’s impressive debut punctuated South Africa’s continued dominance in the Test cricket arena.  Abbott’s haul of 9 for 68 is the third best by a South African bowler on Test debut and the best for South Africa since their readmission. It was also the third best performance by a South African bowler against Pakistan as well as the best by a bowler on debut against Pakistan.  Impressive feat which adds to the growing notion that the Proteas under coach Gary Kirsten are set to cement their greatness, while MS Dhoni’s equally impressive knock of 224 runs (from 265 deliveries) shows that India might just be getting over the loss of Gary Kirsten.

PUNk(s) of the Week!!

  • Mario Balotelli is arguably not the most likable character in footy.  He has, admittedly, toned down the antics somewhat in recent times BUT his name still seems to pop up in bad headlines just as much as it does in the good ones.  It may have been a stretch to expect the Inter Milan fans to roll out the red carpet treatment for Mario’s return.  Even though he was a notable member of Inter’s treble winning team, the fact that he has crossed the divide to the Rosoneri half of Milan means that he was set for a cold reception.  BUT the RACIST abuse that transpired brought back the dark side of society that footy authorities are still fumbling about to eradicate.  In GoalMouthMelee’s blogpost “Bravo Boateng, Bravo Milan” he states that “The fines issued by UEFA or FIFA or other ruling bodies should no longer be these ridiculous pittances but should be more punitive.”  It is a sentiment I fully agree with, and in the aftermath of the paltry 50,000 Euro fine levied against Inter Milan for the RACIST ABUSE, it is clear that it is still business as usual on the matter.  Perhaps we need to get Spike Lee or Quentin Tarantino to bring it to the silver screen for people to take notice and take it seriously?!?

#Mark-Oh-Row-Coat-Oh! / Congratulations! to those who have earned their opportunity to make an acceptance speech.  Some have a trophy to show for their efforts, others, a much coveted golden statuette.  Not all will get the chance to be awarded either one of these, BUT fear not Super Mario has once again come to the rescue (in glorious 3D!!).  After commissioning a life-sized statue of himself to be made for his home in Brescia, he has provided us with a colourful response to one of life’s great dilemmas.  If they won’t give you one build one for yourself!

BUT if any of these suggestions result in unwanted Paparazzi and bad press, all I can ask as always is that you graciously pardonthePUN-dit.

Until the next PUNt, be GR8!!  … and with some good fortune you too may end up with a statue in your honour.  Where would you put yours, and would you make it look like this….?

                                                 Mario Balotelli

NB* – Stats as per www.cricinfo.com; www.whoscored.com;

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2 Comments on “SUP-Ah?! Slowmo Review – 09 (OSCAR – Edition)”

  1. Soccerpunk Says:

    Superb stuff. Enjoyed that. Best hair and make up being a highlight – highlight, get it? No. Oh well….


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